Well the Marc Taylor clan is alive and well in the midst of a fast start to 2011. I can't believe it is already February 13th one day until my 42nd birthday! All of you who remember that little blonde hair boy bouncing around brace yourself, I haven't had hair for a long time, I haven't been little for a long time, and I am going to be 42 years old tomorrow ... doesn't that make you all feel old! Well if it is consoling, I feel old as well.
However, it feels like yesterday I was being mauled by a pig, falling out of a tree, having my lips freeze to the gate into the barnyard on 50th street (and trying to explain it), disappearing into the barn to find a new batch of kitties with which to play, or playing basketball with my cousin Maxine in the barn loft with a hole right under the goal whose primary purpose was to drop a bail of hay down one story to feed the cows. Thank God neither one of us ever went through but I learned how to move around the basket skillfully. At a dinner meeting with some colleagues recently, mostly older, we got into a fascinating conversation which left our ribs sore. The conversation was confined to one topic "all boys have had between 6 and 12 events in our lives that we can look back on and say, whew, a millimeter here or there and things would have ended up differently"! The gist of the stories were about bangs or booms, jumps or ducks, sirens and crashes but the consensus was we would not have it any other way! Life rarely turns out the way we envision or plan but it makes a interesting play when tapped for memories from time to time.
As I reflect back on the last 40+ years I am left with one question, "where did the middle go"? I remember vividly peach nectar running down my elbows on granny's back porch as I gorged myself on peaches from the orchard and other vivid details of my youth but I cannot remember where I put the car keys one evening to the next morning. To send the mortgage payment in BY the first of the month or how long 60 Minutes will last. I can go on and on with contrasts but I truly think it has to do with speed of motion, leave it to an engineer to explain life (ha). Have you ever looked out the window of a speeding car or train and tried to focus on something close? It is a blurrrrrr ... I remember riding a train in Shanghai called the MagLev going in excess of 300 MPH and thinking, metaphorically, how life starts out kind slow, has a fast middle, then an abrupt stop. That day I decided to enjoy the journey a little bit more (well honestly a great deal more) than I have for the last 20 or so years. So systemically I have been shedding things which cause me stress and stopped spending time doing things which are not meaningful. I am at a place where I can on a Sunday night connect with family on this blog (which has been on my list for a long time) enjoy the snow instead of just cursing it as I shovel the driveway. Finally just be in the moment of this minute or this day and enjoy the journey as it unfolds.
I just finished a book titled "The Long Walk" by Slavomir Rawicz which I found particularly inspiring. Funny how when you follow your thoughts everything comes that you seek, it is called listening to your inner self and finding your essence in Buddhist academia but I just call it pursuing MY peace. Plop, this book landed on my reader as I prepare for my surgery later this month, while doing a job I hate, in an economy that is uncertain, and a media that paints a bleak picture of the future whenever you care to listen. When you are able to break things down sometimes you realize things can always be worse, anyway, that was my takeaway on completion of this book. In a nutshell Slav, as he refers to himself, walked across Siberia on a chain with fellow unfortunate souls to be in a Russian work camp/prison ... here's the kicker ... he escaped on foot with a small group of friends, knowing he would have to retrace his steps, and then some, to be free again. As many other historical figures have done, gone all in, risk life and limb, followed their gut, kept moving despite the odds, or persevered in the face of certain peril there is something to be learned from this grit. Slav deserves a little recognition here for inspiring me at this junction of my life and his legacy will keep me moving in the near, mid, and long term future. Whatever the gods have left in store for me ... I am all in!
Have to mention a few facts about me:
My idol is, My Dad
Who I wish I could model myself after is, My Mom
Who's courage makes me envious is, My Sister
My favorite musician is, Kid Rock (Clark and I had front row seats in Wichita a couple weeks ago, that was kinda weird, but fun)
Vegetable I hate the most is, Brussel Sprouts
The future looks like this from my vantage point:
Quit my job.
Have major surgery.
Start my own company.
Sell my house.
Raise my kids from Kansas, not Timbuktu (which I have been to on several occasions).
Coach basketball.
Teach.
Give.
Love all.
Pray a lot.
Cry a little.
Experience peyote hallucinations (hey gotta do something crazy).
Get a tattoo (if I cannot find the peyote, see above).
Stay out of jail.
Go to opening day of baseball season, somewhere, every year until I die.
Prepare for the abrupt stop better than I have.
Ask for forgiveness.
Grant forgiveness.
Live with grace.
Apologize when I screw up, which is often.
Learn to play guitar.
Write music.
Save nothing.
Hug more.
Ask for help.
Do my best.
Respect time.
Write a book.
Live in a monastery in Tibet for as long as they will have me.
Listen.
Ponder the cosmos.
Understand the universe.
This list is a living document and it will grow over time ...
Tell those I respect and love what they mean to me when I am with them. See everyone in the fall, or sooner, if you are going to Greenleaf for Spring Break ... if not ... sucks to be you!
Much love.
Marc
